The other day I was reading Metro and came across an interview with a “meditation consultant.”

Is this really a new line of work in 2010? What do meditation consultants do? Sit with you and breathe away stress? Where do I apply?

Then I read on. The interviewee, Andy Puddicombe, is a former monk who studied in monastaries all over India, Thailand, Nepal, Australia, and Russia for ten years. Even if I shaved my head to look like him, I wouldn’t attract his clientele—I’d only kill my love life.

Last year, Andy started a non-denominational initiative called Headspace in London, which introduces frenetic professionals to the benefits of meditation. He hosts events in cool spaces, conducts one-on-one private sessions, and even meditates with his clients online and via mobile phone. Since Andy and his partner launched Headspace, the London press has been all over the story. He’s been featured in Vogue, Time Out and other popular publications. He also just signed a book deal and has a TV show in development.

Hmm… maybe I could pull off a sexy bald ’do after all?

I had to meet Andy and talk more about his modern day meditation project.

Andy and I scheduled a call over Skype. Even through the small video screen, he casted a spell—he was jovial, warm, and extra smiley.  The bald look really works for him.  He’s not technically a monk anymore, and the position of “lady friend” is already filled.

We talked about my experience with meditation: which usually translates into feeling like I smoked something illegal.  I explained how after I meditate, I feel present and grounded, glad to have my anxiety and fears vanish for at least a good day or so, before my next sitting.

Andy explains to me that scientific research suggests that after fifteen minutes of stillness, blood flow increases in the  area of your brain associated with positive emotions.

The challenge for me has always been getting my butt to meditation classes at least 2–3 times a week.  However, Andy promises that once you take his workshop, you will have the tools to practice on your own. He breaks down his lessons into three parts:

1. Approach: Andy offers a philosophical explanation on the importance of having the right attitude in life. For example, meditation is no different to life. To want things to be different from how they are now is to resist reality. When we resist reality we struggle with life. It’s a move away from acceptance. This applies to meditation because if you sit there trying to actually stop your thoughts and emotions, you move away from acceptance and, ultimately, away from peace of mind.

It’s a common mistake to make though, and explains why so many people get frustrated or anxious when learning meditation. So meditation is less about ‘changing’ the mind and more about ‘understanding’ the mind. When meditation is approached in this way, the potential for benefit is huge!

2. The Act of Meditation: Andy recommends sitting still for 10–15 minutes in the morning, so that meditating doesn’t become just another stressful item on your day’s to-do list.

3. Integration:  You can integrate the practice into your daily life if you consider that meditation is about compassion and awareness. On the subway, use your commute as an opportunity to be mindful and present. Andy say’s that you have a choice: You can either sit there wishing you were somewhere else, or you can use a meditation technique to cultivate awareness and empathy for your fellow commuters. (Well, maybe not the flashers and disheveled, smelly teenage hipsters—best not to be too aware of some things.)

We both agreed that meditation would become the new yoga and sweep through the West. I asked him to teach me his secrets, so that I could become his disciple and start my own meditation business one day. He explained that although he has thought about going that route, right now he doesn’t feel comfortable claiming guru status and training other teachers.

Rats. I guess I’ll have to train with the Bhuddas directly. I wonder if any of them can be interviewed by Skype? Let me do some research and get back to you on that. Until then, catch ya on the subway.

Read more about Andy in this Time Out article here.
And check out the Headspace site here.

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I don’t understand how I run into the most random people who lead me to even more randomness.

I took my single friend to a temple dinner near my apartment. Of course, she motioned me to sit near a cute single guy to my right. I insisted she take the seat instead (her being the single one), but she refused.

So, ever compliant, I started chatting the guy up. I asked him where he was from, and what he does. Next thing I knew, he and I were talking about orgasms. And before I could connect the dots of conversation leading us to this topic, he told me his sister is part of a “slow sex” community that teaches women various “O-finding” techniques.

I was fairly convinced my temple talk would score me a warm seat in Hell. Especially for carrying on the conversation while the young rabbi hopped around the room with a mic in hand, getting people to sing along to the prayers.

Temple Guy mentioned that the orgasm group is called OneTaste. I made a mental note, and e-mailed the group’s instructor Rachel Chewitz the following day.

Turns out, Cherwitz lives in San Francisco but would be heading to New York the next week. It was meant to be! We planned a meeting.

I brought my friend, and we both booked 30 minute sessions with her. My friend went first, and by the time I interrupted their talk, I saw a credit card transaction going down. “Wow, she must be good,” I thought! I secretly wondered if my friend already had an orgasm of some kind.

Then it was my turn. I explained what had happened at temple and how I was curious about slow sex. I’m all about self-improvement, and who’s to say I can’t improve on the intimacy front?

Okay, what I really said was, “Break it down sister: Exactly how do women have orgasms from this method? I want details.”

Here’s how she explained it:

Slow Idea
There’s an entire “slow movement” that includes slow food, slow sex, slow parenting, slow traveling, etc. But our culture is all about speed — we need to do it faster and shorter. We have a finish-line mentality that keeps us from the journey. Nowhere is this more obvious than in our sex lives. Slow sex is the opposite of sex being harder, stronger, and faster. It shows you how to get deeper, more connected, and more intimate.

Founder
Nicole Daedon had a meditation practice, but realized she was living without discovering her sexuality. So she checked into a zen center, where she was told she couldn’t leave anything behind. She knew sexuality had to be part of her practice. She spent the next 15 years researching what would become the OneTaste method: adding mindfulness to sex and increasing a couples’conscious connection to sexuality in a slow, sustainable way.

What We All Want
OneTaste teaches people how to have a healthy and whole sex life. Sex is used as a doorway into the deeper things people want. “We all want to love and be loved,” Cherwitz told me; “see and be seen, we want to know our purpose, and we want to feel connected. When you open the door to sexuality, you begin to learn things about yourself you didn’t know were there.”

Practicing Mindfulness in Bed
OneTaste introduces the philosophy of mindfulness in sexuality.  Some people already have a mindful practice, like meditation, or do chi-gong. What is mindfulness? It’s being with what is. It’s not putting an interpretation on it; it’s allowing yourself to be present, and allowing things to unfold moment by moment.

Mindful Touch
Most people think a lot and ignore their feelings, or feel a lot and ignore their thinking. Orgasmic meditation brings these two parts of the brain into balance, so you can feel your body and also listen to what your mind is telling you. So often we’re trying to do something just to do something to our partner: Like, have an orgasm, and have it feel good! This practice gives you exercises to slow you down enough so you can listen to the sensations of the body, or the wisdom of the body.

Classes
There are three ways to get involved: Sign up for private coaching, take group classes, or become a slow sex trainer. (How fun would it be to tell people what you do at parties?!) The classes are a combination of lecture, interactive discussion, and experiential exercises. By the second class, you will be practicing the act of orgasmic meditation!

The Orgasmic Mediation Practice
Picture this: The lady removes her clothing below her waist and sits with her legs butterflied open. The man is to her right side, fully clothed. He puts on gloves and takes his left leg over her belly and right leg under her legs. He takes a small amount of lubrication and strokes from her introitus through her labia and lands his finger on the upper left quadrant of her clitoris. (O.K., I am not sure exactly where that is on my body, but I’ll Google it.) He then strokes up and down at various speeds and pressures in a conscious way for 15 minutes. The couple then draws their attention to the point of contact with the most sensation. When emotions come up, they let them go and focus again on their sensations.

Apparently, even the man gets into an orgasmic state in the practice! Cherwitz practices the slow sex method about 5 times a day, either with men or women in her community. Amazing! Guess she’s not the shy type! No wonder her skin looks incredible and her face looks relaxed.

I love how my temple outing got me learning about orgasms. I’m not sure how God feels about this discovery, but we’re leaving him out of the practice. Either way, I think I might have to do a few more interviews before I take any sort of group lesson. But if you’re brave and ready (ahem, apparently like my friend!), maybe slow sex is for you? If not, I know a great singles temple dinner you can try.

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