TAG | meditation
The other day I was reading Metro and came across an interview with a “meditation consultant.”
Is this really a new line of work in 2010? What do meditation consultants do? Sit with you and breathe away stress? Where do I apply?
Then I read on. The interviewee, Andy Puddicombe, is a former monk who studied in monastaries all over India, Thailand, Nepal, Australia, and Russia for ten years. Even if I shaved my head to look like him, I wouldn’t attract his clientele—I’d only kill my love life.
Last year, Andy started a non-denominational initiative called Headspace in London, which introduces frenetic professionals to the benefits of meditation. He hosts events in cool spaces, conducts one-on-one private sessions, and even meditates with his clients online and via mobile phone. Since Andy and his partner launched Headspace, the London press has been all over the story. He’s been featured in Vogue, Time Out and other popular publications. He also just signed a book deal and has a TV show in development.
Hmm… maybe I could pull off a sexy bald ’do after all?
I had to meet Andy and talk more about his modern day meditation project.
Andy and I scheduled a call over Skype. Even through the small video screen, he casted a spell—he was jovial, warm, and extra smiley. The bald look really works for him. He’s not technically a monk anymore, and the position of “lady friend” is already filled.
We talked about my experience with meditation: which usually translates into feeling like I smoked something illegal. I explained how after I meditate, I feel present and grounded, glad to have my anxiety and fears vanish for at least a good day or so, before my next sitting.
Andy explains to me that scientific research suggests that after fifteen minutes of stillness, blood flow increases in the area of your brain associated with positive emotions.
The challenge for me has always been getting my butt to meditation classes at least 2–3 times a week. However, Andy promises that once you take his workshop, you will have the tools to practice on your own. He breaks down his lessons into three parts:
1. Approach: Andy offers a philosophical explanation on the importance of having the right attitude in life. For example, meditation is no different to life. To want things to be different from how they are now is to resist reality. When we resist reality we struggle with life. It’s a move away from acceptance. This applies to meditation because if you sit there trying to actually stop your thoughts and emotions, you move away from acceptance and, ultimately, away from peace of mind.
It’s a common mistake to make though, and explains why so many people get frustrated or anxious when learning meditation. So meditation is less about ‘changing’ the mind and more about ‘understanding’ the mind. When meditation is approached in this way, the potential for benefit is huge!
2. The Act of Meditation: Andy recommends sitting still for 10–15 minutes in the morning, so that meditating doesn’t become just another stressful item on your day’s to-do list.
3. Integration: You can integrate the practice into your daily life if you consider that meditation is about compassion and awareness. On the subway, use your commute as an opportunity to be mindful and present. Andy say’s that you have a choice: You can either sit there wishing you were somewhere else, or you can use a meditation technique to cultivate awareness and empathy for your fellow commuters. (Well, maybe not the flashers and disheveled, smelly teenage hipsters—best not to be too aware of some things.)
We both agreed that meditation would become the new yoga and sweep through the West. I asked him to teach me his secrets, so that I could become his disciple and start my own meditation business one day. He explained that although he has thought about going that route, right now he doesn’t feel comfortable claiming guru status and training other teachers.
Rats. I guess I’ll have to train with the Bhuddas directly. I wonder if any of them can be interviewed by Skype? Let me do some research and get back to you on that. Until then, catch ya on the subway.
Read more about Andy in this Time Out article here.
And check out the Headspace site here.
The other day I opened my eyes from a short nap during meditation class. My instructor, Yogi Allen Finger, chuckled.
“Welcome to New York City Ashram,” he cooed. Half-conscious, I giggled.
“With all its nutty people and situations,” Alan started, “New York is the perfect place to work out your karma.”
Karma or Dharma? I wondered. I always get them confused. Alan clarified later:
“Our Dharma includes the situations we are born into in this life to work out our karma.” Of course!
I guess when cabbies try to run me off the road, or a work project hits a snag, I’m being presented with the exact experiences I need to grow.
“Don’t react with your ego,” Alan instructed of dharmic scenarios. “React with your spirit.”
My spirit is what I’d just spent an hour trying to connect with in stillness through pins, needles, and stomach growls.
“One’s spirit is one’s consciousness,” Alan told me. “The ego is developed as our consciousness is exposed to the mind and five senses. Eventually, our ego becomes totally colored by those experiences, causing us to think that whatever we have been exposed to and claimed to be ours, is who we are.”
But that’s all wrong, he said. Meditation helps us hit the reset buttons on our minds so we can erase all our egos’ programming. Then we get to connect to our authentic selves. You know, like the young girl in me who liked to sing in front of mirrors and let the school boys chase after me. Wow, meditation is really working.
Several months ago I took a break from Allen Finger’s meditation classes. The result wasn’t pretty. I found myself way too deep in my own head. One evening, I was in an elevator talking out loud to myself. I didn’t notice the doors open, and found myself face-to-face with three people gawking at me like I’d just escaped Bellevue. I hustled out of the elevator and spent the next 10 minutes reassuring myself that everyone talks to his or herself once in a while. (Just not as loud as I do.)
After that, I knew it was time to sign up for Finger’s classes again.
I’m a firm believer that meditation is better than medication. Throw yoga classes into the mix, and you’ve found an elixir for pure happiness and well-being.
Many of you are already aware of Ishta Yoga, one of my favorite meditation spots. But if you can’t make it there at 5:30 p.m. Mondays and Wednesdays, take a few minutes today to hit your mind’s reset button at work and check out these videos:
How to Meditate—a great primer
Alan Finger talking about releasing tension
Do you have a favorite meditation video, CD, spot, or teacher? Share it here and I’ll add it!
I was shopping for new meditation spots and recently saw a flyer advertising a new Buddhist temple with daily sessions. The place piqued my interest, so the other day I paid a visit to the temple, which turned out to be inside a brownstone on the Upper West Side.
Yes, even the Buddhists recognize good real estate.
The temple was mostly empty when I arrived, except for a man working there who told me the monk was running late.
“No worries,” I said. “Even monks get stuck in traffic.” I chuckled awkwardly then made my way over to the big gold Buddha, and took a squat.
The monk—surprisingly white—arrived 15 minutes later harried and stressed. He had a shaved head, looked to be about my age, and wasn’t bad on the eyes. I took a moment to wrack my brain: Had we dated before?
The monk introduced himself as Myong Haeng Sunim or Dave and told me I was there on the wrong night—the beginners, he explained, met on Tuesdays. I assured him I am no novice.
“Well then,” he said, “you should have no problem sitting in silence on your own.”
“Um, well, no,” I back-stepped, “I’m not sure about that.”
Dave changed into his robe and kneeled, bowing to Buddha and reciting Korean prayers in a very deep, monotone voice.
This isn’t so different than synagogue, I thought to myself, just with a few golden statues added.
Dave tried explaining the prayers, but was in a rush to get elsewhere. He handed me his card and invited me to get in touch. So I e-mailed him, which seemed a strange way to correspond with a monk, and we made plans to meet the following week and talk more.
Here’s what he told me when we met, sitting Indian-style, cushion to cushion:
How He Became a Monk
Dave went to Cornell and found himself surrounded by people chasing desires, money, and goals without any sense of happiness. His peers seemed distracted with TV, drugs, and conversation. Then Dave’s father got cancer. Suddenly, primetime sitcoms and frat parties didn’t seem so important. Dave found himself wondering, What’s the whole point?
He started hanging out with local Buddhist groups, went on a few retreats, and before long was in Korea teaching English. He didn’t necessarily want to be a monk, but Dave needed money to stay in the country. So, he kept learning and teaching at the temples until he finally graduated and realized his purpose.
Why Most People are Unhappy
Suffering comes from attachment to the idea that your thoughts are true, like when I tell myself that the only reason the guy on the train offered me his seat is because he thinks I’m pregnant. Everyone in this world is attached to his or her thinking, and puts everything into categories of right and wrong, seeing all the world through this filter. If you are attached to anything, you will suffer because inevitably it will change. We need to wake up moment to moment, perceive this world clearly, and do our best to help others.
Thoughts and Judgement
Buddhism allows you to see things as they are. People confuse their thinking with the truth. Your thoughts are just coming and going. If you see them as true, you suffer. Our thoughts categorize people into right and wrong buckets. The moment we separate and categorize, we see ourselves as better. Another moment, we see ourselves as inferior.
Do We Stop Thinking?
Thinking is not bad in itself, but if you attach to your thinking and ideas and believe that they are true, then you will cause suffering for yourself and others. Most thinking is based on opposite concepts, which are formed by our biased perceptions of the world. It’s important to think when necessary, but to turn off the faucet when you are done. If your mind is clear, you can respond to any situation naturally.
Chanting and Meditation
Bowing, chanting, and sitting all help our body, breath and mind become one. If your body is doing one thing and your mind something else, then you can’t be clear, and you’ll inevitably suffer. When you do something, just do it. Bowing and chanting are the fastest ways Dave found to bring his body and mind together.
Stay Present
We’re all either planning for the future or regretting the past, which makes it hard for us to connect to any situation now. Dave uses meditation to turn inward. Our mind is like a mirror, he says: When it’s clear, it reflects in front of you and allows you to connect with people.
I’m not sure the temple on the Upper West Side is my scene, but I liked Dave. He was peaceful, kind, and I loved the way he processed the world. I would even set him up with one of my single girlfriends if I could. But even American monks have to remain celibate. Of course, I had to ask!
If you feel like learning more and meeting Monk Dave or Myong Haeng Sunim yourself, check out the temple’s school at www.kwanumzen.org.
