Imagine me at a podium, statuette in hand, thanking everyone who’s done me wrong.
“And John, if it wasn’t for you breaking up with me over Instant Messanger, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today.”
The truth is, every situation is a blessing. It’s easy to be grateful for the good stuff, but as equally as important (maybe even more so) to be grateful for the crappy stuff in our life. In fact, it’s often the bad that brings with it the greatest lessons and gifts.
We discussed this concept of extreme gratitude at my most recent Inspiration Alley get-together. Jennifer Macaluso, the group’s founder and coach, mentioned the author Irvin Michael writing about his wife’s death. No, he wasn’t grateful for her passing; but he was thankful for what he’d been able to make of his life since. In two years time, he was able to find a passionate new relationship with a woman he loves and find new direction in his life. He moved to a new area and started a new business.
Our challenge this month is to remember every painful experience we’ve had in our lives and find the lessons learned.
Here’s one for me:
A week after I started at a new high school, one of my neighbors started a rumor that I was a liar and a lesbian. Needless to say, it took me a while to find friends. Eventually, as it so often does, the truth prevailed—until my ninth-grade boyfriend rehashed the lesbian rumor after I broke up with him.
But I learned that when you’re yourself and don’t react to chaos, all the nonsense chatter subsides.
Start your list of tough times (and bad breakups), and think about how it made you a better person. I’d love to hear what you come up with.
6 Comments for Grateful for the Crap
Amanda | March 22, 2010 at 8:33 am
G.L. | March 23, 2010 at 10:32 am
Thank you, Downtown Dharma, for this inspiring post.
This life truth needs to be talked about more, and more people who practice helping others for a living need to be acutely aware of helping people to understand the valuable lessons and opportunities in what might appear to be a rough situation.
There is a silver lining that guides you and opens up a whole new world of possibilities that are greater than you could ever have imagined had you not experienced the life lesson!
Celebrate what you learned, and re-direct your life with this new found knowledge, strength, awareness, and wisdom.
Steve | April 5, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Funnily enough I think about the subject of noise or nonsense chatter quite a bit in order to keep my environment in a manageable state. In your example it was the kind of hurtful misinformation that other people can try to drag you down with. But yes, if you already know what your truth is tuning people out can be pretty easy to manage. Well, easier to manage then result of falling for the bait… in any case you aren’t reliant on them to tell you who you are. As a result it’s more likely to lead a quick introspective glance (“is that what I am telling people about me?”) when you hear this stuff then anger.
After having read Michael Irvin one could say that he recognizes that end of one thing means a chance to start something else… the upside of change.
The lessons I continue to learn from bad experiences is that I can be far more resilient to adversity than I ever thought and it’s a pretty good thing just to be alive.
Good post!
I’m gonna’ go back to laughing at my friends on FB now…
Kylie Batt | April 16, 2010 at 9:54 am
Paul | April 24, 2010 at 4:08 pm
Great post, Ilana. It’s so easy to be grateful for “easy” things, like sunshine, a roof over our heads, and an awesome friends. But to get down and dirty, to dig through out past and rehash those terrible, awful moments and then come out the other side GRATEFUL for them…powerful stuff, diva.
Joseph | April 25, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Funnily enough I think about the subject of noise or nonsense chatter quite a bit in order to keep my environment in a manageable state. In your example it was the kind of hurtful misinformation that other people can try to drag you down with. But yes, if you already know what your truth is tuning people out can be pretty easy to manage. Well, easier to manage then result of falling for the bait… in any case you aren’t reliant on them to tell you who you are. As a result it’s more likely to lead a quick introspective glance (“is that what I am telling people about me?”) when you hear this stuff then anger.
After having read Michael Irvin one could say that he recognizes that end of one thing means a chance to start something else… the upside of change.
The lessons I continue to learn from bad experiences is that I can be far more resilient to adversity than I ever thought and it’s a pretty good thing just to be alive.
Good post!
I’m gonna’ go back to laughing at my friends on FB now…
Great post, Ilana. It’s so easy to be grateful for “easy” things, like sunshine, a roof over our heads, and an awesome friends. But to get down and dirty, to dig through out past and rehash those terrible, awful moments and then come out the other side GRATEFUL for them…powerful stuff, diva.